i hate myself
how do u choose the right path that was actually meant for u..u dont,right?what if u already know the outcome but u pretend that u dont know?and what if u know that the things that u did was totally wrong but you keep on repeating the same mistake again?what if u already know that the person is not meant for you, but you keep on hoping that he will eventually will be.why do u?whats holding you back?why does these feeling and questions keep on bugging me?it hurts to know and admit to the truth, but why do i deny.i should face it..but im too scared..im scared of rejection..im scared at almost everything that happens around me.why do i feel so insecure?..is that what life is all about?
to deny things that happens around me..is not an option..im just trying to protect myself..against whatever that makes me feel sad and insecure..how can i live without that someone but at the same time i cant live with him?its weird right..its kinda lame..but this is the truth about what im feeling right now..screw me..being there at that moment brings out the old sad memories which i should have thrown it away ages ago..i just cant help it.. it keeps coming back…it makes me feel sad just being there..cluless and not knowing what to do..and that is soo not me, lately…unclear about the whole situation..im caught up it this mess..i really have to get things straighten up..i need to break free..
actually come to think of it..how could i lost something that i never had..dowh!!
